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Monday, November 10, 2014

Getting started

This blogging thing has me thinking a lot. I love blogging. I love reading. And I kind of like writing. My inspiration for starting this blog was due to my trip abroad and after being back home since my teaching stint (3 years, omg), I wonder what direction I want this blog to go. I have ample amount of ideas, plenty of saved posts, many thoughts that riddle my mind. The reason why I have so many saved posts is mostly because I start, write a line, then stop. It's almost as if I am willing myself to hold back, not unfold the the thoughts of my heart. After getting married, continuing my teaching career and my international education pursuit, at times, I don't even know where I am going. I find myself wondering, "how did I even get here?" And "what I am doing?" I feel fulfilled, yet I feel as if I am wandering at the same time.... It's just a funny time in my life. That is all.At times, I just wish I had one friend I can really connect with on a regular basis-- someone to look forward to (aside from my husband. I strongly believe in strong female friendships). I want to be truly immersed in something exciting and meaningful to me. I want to be obsessed with something concrete and consistent. I desire to see growth in my relationship with God and with my husband. I just seek to know the real me now. When I start to feel this way, I know it's God humming in my ear, so yeah, I need to rearrange my life so he's back at number 1. I've started the journey, but lately, I feel at a pause.

So I do/do not apologize for the delay. I've seemed to have abandoned my mojo, not lost it. I"m doing way too much thinking and not a lot of doing. But those who know me, know that I do so much. Maybe this pause is necessary. Thank goodness for old-faithful blogs that keep me smiling and motivated-- not just to write but to embrace life. Thanks Chinye, Clar, and Amma. Especially dear Chinye whose recent post forced me to come back to this site and pull this post from the vault. I suppose I just need to get started again and then it'll be easier.