For my Audience

I think I can write forever considering how I feel right now.
I am puzzled as to whether I am just star-struck or just so damn happy.
Possibly a mix of both, but I wonder if this is the same way I will feel I met Beyonce face to face in an intimate setting.
(I'm a shameless closet fan).
But no, this isn't that 'gone in the brain' kinda feeling that folk may feel upon meeting the diva; I'm completely sane and very sure of what has transpired and yet I am utterly grateful and giddy at the same time.

I've just sat in the presence of inspiration. And that is the only word I can think of: inspired. I have read her books on numerous occasions, dogeared my favorite passages, watched and rewatched her TED talks, loaned my books out only to never see them again. But I've enjoyed doing all these things. Today, that enjoyment has not translated into reverence and inspiration.

I think I know what inspiration means now. The thing is that we use the word so loosely: you lost weight~ you inspire me; your style inspires me; you've inspired me to go natural; you've inspired me to stop___________ (fill in the blank). It usually turns out that when we use the term "inspire" we possibly mean that we just really like that "thing" we notice in a person. Not that we truly want to act upon that exalting influence; we in essence, just admire it. But no. I have truly been inspired today by the woman and writer that is Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. I not only admire and enjoy her writing but I am truly inspired by her as a woman. Inspired in shallow ways: upon watching her glide into the room with her glowing skin and medium sized fro, I had the itching sensation (real and imagined) to pull out my braids and wear my natural hair in all its frazzled glory. I was inspired in  a more important way however: to care more about my writing and my message. I always say I have only one story to tell. I'm not seeking to be a writer, I am seeking to just share my perspective with the world. And thankfully, that story hasn't been told yet:) But I tend to limit myself on acting upon that urge to write. I'm not grammatically inclined at times and in some ways my descriptions lack poetic depth but I shouldn't allow that to stop me. There is always room for growth and improvement. There are other women out there who share the passion and thought of Chimamanda and I suppose it is about time I added myself to that number. I must not think of my audience and just write without inhibition, and in turn, inspire another young lady.


Thank you for tonight Chimamanda, if you are part of my audience today. I was so proud to sit front row to hear you speak. I anticipate seeing you again.