What I was thinking

I joke seriously with friends and family that as a youth, I had my whole life planned out up until age 21. I knew I was going to college, going to enjoy college, going to become a teacher. I did all of that, with few flaws. When I graduated from college and met my last goal (get teacher's license), I didn’t know what the hell I was going to do next. I may sound overly anxious but I just like order. I know it’s impractical to think life is going to work out according to planned but I like to imagine that it will follow suit anyway. So once I received my teaching license and my own classroom, I began to plan for the next phase of my life. I have this 1, 5, 10 plan in my journal. It's quite detailed. And ambitious. It gives me anxiety attacks sometimes, lol.

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I love learning. I love everything that entails education; from the petty stuff like dry erase markers to the big thangs like, curriculum development. When people say, "it takes a special kind of person to teach, especially middle school", I wholeheartedly agree. Heck yeah! I'm even more special because I freaking love teaching at a middle school. High school still intimidates me; I can never teach there... :)

But I love Africa too. African studies was a topic deduced to two paragraphs in my 9th grade world history textbook. They were able to stuff the Songhai, Mali, and Ghana empires into 15 measly sentences and move on to something else. I found myself to have memorized the whole Africa section by the end of the semester. So going to college was a big deal to me because I had the opportunity to learn more about this vast and mysterious continent and connect on the level in which I desired.

Coupling these two passions only occurred to me last year. I traveled to Ghana for a vacation and just wanted to come back. Vacating in Ghana was fun but I wanted to return to something more fulfilling than relaxing at Labadi Beach. I wanted to immerse myself in the culture and take time to learn my mother tongue. I never studied abroad in college due to financial and time restraints. Teaching abroad was an option I heavily considered upon graduation but couldn't figure where or when to begin. So last fall, I started at: Google.com. I searched for teaching opportunities in Africa and found my dream program.

But where was I to fit that in life's current events? I just got a new job, it comes with a pretty good health care plan. I just got my own place with great-quality furniture. Oh, yeah, I just got ENGAGED!

I fought and fought with the idea of teaching abroad but thought if not now, when Mabel? Would I take the opportunity and time to teach in another country if I was married woman with a mortgage and baby on the way? Even though I am not all that woman yet, I still struggled mentally. I was so caught up in the moment of doing things right, doing things in order, that I didn't think about what God wanted for me. My passion for teaching is not an accident. My obsession with Africa is not a ploy. I just hope putting the two together will allow me to clearly figure out what it is is that I want to bring to this world and how I'm going to bring it.

So as I type this, I wonder, what is my elevator speech? If someone was to stop me and ask me about my program, about my goals, my next step, what would I say? I would say, I'm still figuring it out. I just know, I'm going to go with God's flow. Because even with all my planning, I didn't know that this was what God intended for me. Leaving my job, family, and fiance does seem random and as if I am running away to join the Ringley Brothers.... what am I thinking?

What I'm thinking is that I've got a little vision in the back of my mind. To see it come true is going to take some action and sacrifice. So, I've got to get moving....

This is some great elevator music though....